The Memory of the Thing Is (2)

I’m not having a lot of luck over on my blog in the Sketch theme and for some reason the ether ate my photo of a drawing I made yesterday and tried to share there this morning, along with a poem. I’ve put that on Facebook in order to try sharing it with the mooc community as it was a response to an excercise. I liked it better in the purple font I drafted it with, but had typed it into notepad then pasted it over to get the line spacing how it needed to be and my dashboard locked down and I had another stressy wasted day trying to resolve whatever in my settings was making stuff weird again.

You might not want to read it on Facebook, or at all, but here it is again.

Or it was. And now its gone. What IS going on at WordPress? Did I slip on my mobile phone screen while trying to post? I have lots of problems using this although I have managed a small few times. Oh well. Another post losing MY content! I’ll get my poem on here sometime when something works. Its at my public personal facebook (colette.bates.58) not to mix me up with my virtual volunteer. Cuz. Tho I’m mixing me up fine all by myself! It opens fine in the window  there above.

I got stupidly overly concerned that it (post prevention and photo-uploads vanishing) was some kind of political overanxious control from the totalitarian DTrumpUS freakystuff that our media-hype is leading us to maybe believe. As if there could be a yankeetakeover of the UK – the good women of nearNotts with their potato mashers are enough to scare off any threat, so legend has it!

I’m wondering if I should bother with much else if it’s going to be shoddy at this draughty old run-down station. There are holes all over this platform. Is it some silly bitches’ stilettoes? They tend to be ruinous with all kinds of floors!


February 2017’s Monthly Look Ahead

It seems like only a few days ago I was making January’s MLA post but I managed to achieve some of things in that post (in spite of my lately stresshead phase).

I write this post to join in with the event created by Coolbeans. I enjoy visiting there, even though I don’t share a similar zeal for watching movies or TV, it’s an uplifting blog to read. I liked the idea of using this event for my blogging strategy mostly, to make a monthly plan and set myself some goals. I can’t really plan for any other kind of activity much at all. Keeping up with anything consistently is quite difficult, but the laptop helps keep me awake, so, here we are again, only a day late this time. Hooray!


I’m using Coolbeans’ original event emblem pic this month (and hoping they don’t mind!) – this is for the purple reminding of remembrance.

February is a significant month for me relating to the loss of both my parents.My Dad died over 20years ago and my Mum’s death was just last year.


26 days of February to go… nowhere as fast as ever, on the slow

o does a todo list work in any blog theme or just P2? apparently it doesn’t work here!

  1. Blogging101 / writing101 refresh, SloPo and whatever other learning practises I can manage, trying to regain some increase to cognitive activity levels, while physically exhausted and too soon in pain to manage anything much when up on my feet. I must try not to wear myself out so much whenever, whatever.
  2. Still temp volunteering a little at Blogger’s World (front-end only posting-level access only, no admin responsibilities there); an authorstory to write for 9th, having had a break from posting for it and very grateful to others for taking up the call for posts. I messed up my attempt at helping for a creative writing post, but I’m not practised enough in formal writing, for one thing. Sincere apologies to Pam and others for failing that commitment! Shakespeare401 to work toward for May.
  3. Still needing to visit blogging neighbours more, but reading fatigue not helped by stress of impossible wifi access issues on and off for whatever reasons. I waste too much time unable to escape the stress impacts of the silliest little things! I can’t just ‘go do something less boring instead’ to recall that jingle line of an old fave UK kid’s program, called “Why Don’t You…?”
  4. With contagious cycles of current new onset illness (contracted while out shopping on August 27th 2016) and this negatively impacting my M.E. and other health issues, it’s unlikely I’ll be getting anywhere out and about much at all this month.But I can do very small excercise along the garden path or in the street sometimes (contagion is only a mucoid / close contact risk, potentially, apparently). Funny how the general population have no regard for preventing spread of their own contagions, generally, while some of us have to confine ourselves as if lepers! Maybe because people believe so much absurd NHS misinformation and can’t be bothered to uncover the facts that lay beyond two clicks deep. Socially transmitted diseases mislabelled as STD is also very annoying, so is denying healthcare to M.E. patients so as ‘not to pander to the idea of being physically ill’!
  5. Anyway, I’ve steamed ahead with getting it together better at SwishingUp. It’s been on the P2 theme for ages, but in blog style rather than using it in message-board format. Unfortunately, trying to return the ‘Edit’ label to the posts and pages by ticking an option for ‘front-end editing’ has ruined it and there’s no way to return to my previous chosen style using that theme. I managed some extra customisation there and have more admin practise ‘work’ to do there yet. I might have to look for a new theme similar to how I had it there before or just remove and reapply the theme. Doh! Still don’t know how margins got removed and other stuff messed up there…
  6. I’m still blogging all over the place now and then! Sorry if it’s confusing to have different ‘rooms’ – is it easier to think of them as just a row of scatty notebooks on a wordpress shelf? I know I’m not the only one practising content in different themes. I’ve got to get back to speed at Snailzpace Daily too while Stu’s away so much! Next to music, blogging’s good ‘medicine’, it seems.
  7. I’m still trying to gear up to doing something creative every day, like managing a small daily sketch – but the day often runs itself out without even cooking a proper meal or doing basic things. No good forcing myself off my blog(s), it doesn’t help to fail to achieve anything! I’ve even failed keeping my handscrawled ‘daybook’ again after a fairly good start for a few small days last month. I did this, I did that, gets a bit depressing! I would like to keep a journal but never have yet and if I can’t keep up with entering my daily detail in a simple diary, then, well… I just need to keep myself going somehow better.
  8. Hopefully this month I’ll continue what I intended to post for the DP ‘transcript’ prompt, although that could keep going a while too, here and there; then there’s ‘The memory of things’ that really caught my fancy as an inspiring topic.
  9. Nutritional improvements are quite a necessity as is,
  10. spring cleaning and domestic reorganisation(!) one square yard or cubic foot at a time!




ME and mine

One of the really BIG problems of having lifelong Myalgic Encephalomyelitis is the misinformation generated widely in societies about chronic fatigue. Nowadays, the popularisation of the dustbin diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (as it was wellknown by in medical circles prior to the formalisation of the CFS strategy) is having devastating negative impacts on people with all kinds of specific medical conditions including cancers, HIV, multiple sclerosis, heart disorders, strokes – you name it and I’d bet you’d find someone denied a true clinical diagnosis and necessary treatment and support services under this bizarre outcome of CFS Strategy misimplementation.

Chronic fatigue is a general population issue and can affect anyone for varying reasons. Post-viral fatigue, similarly. Neither of these conditions of general temporary ill health are ‘a syndrome’. Neither CFS nor PVFS are necessarily M.E. [I experience PVFS as well as my generalised M.E. type health states.]

A smokescreen has been created with very widespread CFS propoganda by swagbaggers and swipesters – even the M.E. charities are forced to play along with furthering the CFS field in order to sustain their funding revenue.

M.E. patients are denied support as a result whilst the general public assume we receive support through CFS implementations. Nobody bothers to go more than two or three clicks to check information enough and so dole out repeated nonsense and assume they know because so-and-so-(web)info-states…

Nobody much reads the entire NICE2007 guidelines to understand the breadth of clinical knowledge, the limitations of NHS provision, the patient expertise and the knowledge of clinical experts. Propoganda still leads us to believe ‘doctors cannot diagnose this’!

The NICE2007 guidelines very clearly state that anyone diagnosed with M.E. or any other lifelong disabling illness cannot be diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This guidance was due to have been updated in 2014, but I didn’t notice any consultation, nor any news of it, but also haven’t checked yet. There was no such diagnostic label as M.E./C.F.S. in the 2007 guidance but C.F.S/M.E. is diagnosed after an initial Chronic Fatigue Syndrome referral is confirmed as illness with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.

This is a very complex issue that I didn’t wish to write about here today. To an extent I just have! [Only for interference with my use of my blog that distracted me away from my original post intention!]

It’s incredibly annoying, having a confirmed clinical diagnosis of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, with devastating lifelong disabling impacts, being expected to meet a class-based stereotype of what my human condition should look like. It’s also annoying when government money intended to help patients is usurped for job-creation schemes for psychological based therapies to the detriment of biomedical research. of course, there are more annoying things, and for us all!

Scientific findings since 1984 have been locked away under the OSA, allegedly – possibly along with my own genetic data from my original severe phase as a teenager and possibly those of other patients.

Books like the one I was reading in the photo that refused to upload to my media library at my other blog, lumping causes of ‘fatigue’ under ’emotional and behavioural problems’, trivialising even general fatigue, and ignoring so many physiological factors, as if you can think yourself out of fatigue states, only adds to those things that can make therapies more harmful for the patient.

The memory of things


I came across my loose page the other day. I’ve been in health decline ever since I moved to this house. It’s a shame. Especially as it seems to have been a deliberate public-service/state-led ploy with full knowledge of the impacts of my lifelong disabling medical condition. The Equality Act 2010 has offered no protection whatsoever. But then, when you (I) find a healthy looking lady on LinkedIn using my name and what might be my qualifications from my (historic) attendances at local community education and training courses … well! Government to blame? Acquaintance(s)? Is this why my clinical medical record is denied? Or because I’m one of the research subjects whose genetic information was included in a top secret document that is being withheld from the British public – previously until 2025, now because we’re still alive and kicking it’s not being released until 2064 or something! Cheeky fuckers never even had my permission as a 13 to 17year old and never had my parents permission either!!! (That other lady using my name didn’t exist when I first checked for potential ID theft, I don’t believe she’s using WordPress, but she is practising professionally in some kind of field – a criminal one! -previously there was just a potential fraudster posing as a genetic scientist in Cornwall but that could have been a coincidence or just a piss-take because I was in the process of writing an article on familial incidents of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. I probably will find this won’t even post now because neither of main party of British government and possible US government / the World Health Organisation / the pharmaceutical industry would want an honest person trying to share any true factual information about their own patient expertise! it isn’t even actually what i would wish to blog about. But I do wonder why my stolen certificates have potentially been allowed to be used by someone else – and I do have other means of verifying that I attended those courses because I keep everything – notes, assessmentt forms and even have the photos the tutors etc gave me of our class during attendance! God! England is such a bogus shithole it’s unreal!!!

The memory of The Thing Is…

… y’know how crazy it is queuing at a ticket office office for how many hours knowing it’s not even gonna yield a good seat and hoping the view is not too obscured…

… or waiting to checkout for that ONE bargain item you really must JUST  acquire…

… or standing in line for an ice lolly when all there is left is ICE CREAM!

Through a glass darkly…

Life can be so darned frustrating! “Prioritise!” 



“Why not offer a transcript? You could just hand it over tomorrow, perhaps?”

This is my sketchbook page, reverse of a ‘transcript’, if you can see what IT means, you’re a better man than ME! (seems silly to put a ‘copyright’ mark on it when I intend giving preview lo-tech nonthings away as soon as my site is ready for development stage from CONTINGENCY unit 0.1.i

Something and nothing… and on the other side of the “QUOI?” “Teeline?

In tried and tested methodology, by LONGhand is quicker – but easier to decipher!

Fishing4soup! Yes! it is, like fishing for soup! We are expected to just believe that the hierachial societies and their unethical production and distribution strategies are somehow ethically and appropriately determined.

Everything must continue just so?

So, what?

Whatever next! The other side will only make sense in Sketch!

It’s all I was aiming to show for another first transcript. Instead, spending the equivalent of a whole working week (ie. those JUST 16hours !) for the sake of making a small purchase while there’s enough rainy day cash in the bank to manage fine.

The question is not but how will you manage? 

The question is, how does this PLATFORM inspire confidence and ability to proceed and continue a not yet obsolete creative development PLAN?

  • #blogging101/blogging201
  • there is no facility to learn and practise advanced CSS (for just ONE reason) without facilitating a ‘pro’ type package to develop my previously outlined development model and determine an ethical standard of product/service PROTOTYPE.
  • You mean you EXPECT me to waste paper and ink, make it on PAPER?
  • Then just get out and about and SPREAD it all around? PHYSICALLY? Are you serious!?
  • Ok! I have to untick TWO boxes and that is all. So tomorrow, when I try THAT…?
  • Next small step then…? Well, a year to learn “How to MAKE it WORK?” 
  • Sometimes, the only thing that seems to make sense, might appear to make no sense at all! (Can you just trusr I know what I know if you know what I means, … but the hierarchial answer to that conundrum is most usually that fat, flat, NON!
  • So, fail again and fail better then!… But ‘please do not fall…’ is ariving at platform #who knows where, why, whenever…

#drawings – and based on previous knowledge, understanding and experience (you do KNOW what ‘drawings’ means if you makes/takes them…) THEN… (I need that plan by tomorrow and then to proceed. Slowly but surely toward THAT goal. If the pre-pack were suitable for PROTOTYPEs then it would still be an inaccessible stationary package for a couple of very, very good reasons. Everyone else pushes for elsewhere, but I learnt my TRUST and much more HERE and HERE.

[I don’t need you to try and check it out for me. and when PROTOTYPE developments are underway I still need my personal palygrounds here, community are fellow passengers of ACQUAINTANCESHIP and rule number 1 is?

Respect for All, first and foremost. Secondly, never mix business with p’leisure!

Colette B. [live online, 17:52! Here!]

Back to reality and back soon sometime…!

The memory of things

Elevenses! I’m a bit late with…

Never mind. Toast soon!


I wonder if my young eldest bezzy friend remembers I told him I still have his bevvie glass here! I can still remember the day we picked it up from a promo, paid for of course with the price of a few happy meals! We didn’t go there often, but it was often enough for a few memorable occasions and we could always fib and say it was simply ‘an ethical choice’!

Oh look! There’s a book by my bed! I don’t actually read much enough! That one has some good or not good advice and sarcastic wit to reflect on if I get stuck for ideas and need some agony to work at.It reminds me of a column somewhere, was it Marje… or …?

Books get too heavy and my brain just won’t follow linear things. But i had enough head injuries along the way of life that it’s no wonder the darn engine slips into neutral so often! I shouldn’t even expound on that spider! He featured nicely elsewhere.

The very last of my Xmas spirit went into that glass, about a double measure with plenty cola (the other brand – from our village shop!) I forgot it wasn’t afternoon at about 4 or 5 this morning, and it was just before 7am in the real world where we still go by summertime when I woke half the street up la-la-ing in the scullery!

Then I tried to sort an issue online and messed myself up talking to a machine and expecting it to work a small miracle! Life! Never mind. ..

Curtains? actually it’s a scarf. It’s done very well at that window. (ok, so it’s not Habitat or JL enough for some.). But there. Probably not expensive enough at the time although quite. Supposedly ethically sourced from a stall holder couple who made them theirselves. That’s easier to say tho’ than admitting if they were sourced in the developing world on the cheap.

But I expect they were being honest looking at the other stuff they definitely seem to have been making for that event. A really nice gentleman gave my small boy a healing crystal – he wouldn’t accept money for it. Healers often won’t accept money, unless it’s their ‘trade’ time and charges then are usually fair. There are a lot of rip-off merchants in the world these days, usurping alternative and ethical belief systems, and probably always has been that way.

I bought that scarf at a summer motorcycle festival, so many years ago now, with a vintage custom bike show and some shit-hot bands playing! I still got the badge, Tshirt and programme too, somewhere! That was quite a long time ago now. That dye should have faded with the sunlight if the window was the opposite side of the house.

I’ve been meaning to raise a TOAST post for ages! But that’s all there is, and I glugged it hours ago. Somewhere, there’s a plate full of crumbs. Only a photo – but plenty of bread in the freezer so toast and pepper for late elevenses as soon as I concentrate while making my way to it… Meanwhile, my coffee’s going cold downstairs …

2017 and the Monthly Look Ahead!


click to visit Coolbeans MonthlyLookAhead post

I’m late again! “Better late than never!” tends to be my recurring mantra, for quite some time now… I could add to my usual excuse of ongoing ill health to those frustrating tech difficulties that I’ve wasted so much time on lately! I could have set up my new toy, but want to be awake and concentrating well when I do! I set this thing up in a fuzzy haze and it hasn’t helped – but then Windows10 is less clear than 98/XP were for administrative and security settings and seems to want to auto-control things. Probably just me not really sussing it better yet.

Getting back to more blogging interaction!

My blogs are in quite a shoddy mess, and need some #blogging101 refreshing! Underway, whenever…

I managed a little blog reading and interaction recently from my now aging mobile phone – but isn’t technology made so quickly obsolete these days! I’m very much regretting not Continue reading “2017 and the Monthly Look Ahead!”