Marching on – it’s MLA time again!

Here we are again as Monthly Look Ahead flies round so soon…

…and there’s much to look forward to these next few weeks. I’ll be another whole year older by the end of the month – and glad that doesn’t happen every month. Whether I’ll be any the wiser for my older age remains to be seen, but I’d hedge my bets toward ‘most unlikely’. 

As usual there’s ongoing blogging goals. I can’t be bothered to think about them much just now, kind of mapped out already and more of the same ole same ole and lots of lingering to-do’s.  I don’t know how long this ‘blogging my way back to life somehow’ might take, but I’ll get there, wherever ‘there’ might be. Maybe I just need more determination (to get a life, not to blog! LOL). This month I’m still looking to get my blogging house in order and retaking the BloggingU customisation and everyday-inspiration ‘courses’, but not from here and hopefully not in my usual scatterbrained here, there and everywhere ways…

I’ll be carrying on my appreciation of Cid Corman and delving into getting to know Frank O’Hara’s poetry better. Hopefully I’ll be immersing  with reading and experiencing poetry aplenty, learning some more about more poets and maybe even trying to write some more poems myself too. Maybe it’ll help me drag myself into being more creative in other ways too, like getting a daily drawing routine going – it’s been a failing goal for much too long. I definitely could use some better therapeutic activity time and a lot more often.

Somewhere to hand I’ve some packets of flower seeds that should still be good for sowing. Increasing exposure to natural daylight and more outdoor fresh air would be a very good idea. Fairweather gardening might be do-able in small bursts, providing winter doesn’t strike with avengeance. Even if it does, there should be some window for gardening type enjoyment and the fencing really needs patching and propping up more sufficiently.

This panel doesn’t really need my shadow to prop it up, unlike other parts in need of more than my shadow…

Although I’ve not yet made it onto the bouncerciser at all yet, nor my wii-fit, and even though excercise can be counterproductive they are at least available if ever I feel up to some. I live in hope. I used to love walking, just getting anywhere at all under your own steam, but my capacity and tolerance has been reducing year on year for the last eight years. It’s quite concerning to now, or still, be at this current stage and on the one hand seems totally unrealistic to be even thinking about excercise and on the other hand seems totally defeatist not to be. I’m managing up and down the stairs a bit better again – and quite often in comparison to a while ago. So, being grateful for small mercies…

I’ve been managing to eat more regularly without cooking much as such and have restarted co-enzymeQ10 supplements. They’re no good without good food enough and food’s not much good with insufficient enzyme production. So keeping up with food and nutrition and making sure to enjoy food is definitely on the menu again. Washing up may be off the cards most days of the week but I’m making sure not to make much of it by labour-saving strategies and by letting it wait around looking like still life. I even got photos to prove it but I’m not sharing those here and now. I might draw from them when I’ve washed up forgetting to get round to drawing any beforehand.

Anything else besides will be an added and appreciated bonus and be bound to get a mention – I almost forgot to add that I’ve managed quite a lot of reading books for pleasure these last few weeks. That makes a nice change. I’m quite enjoying reading Scott Nicholson’s post-apocalyptic ‘After’ series, they’re quite an easy read and very more-ish; I already finished the four books of his that I bought and so need to buy more – or find a better way of getting kindle books and ending my boycott, cos kindle versions are loads cheaper as well as having the environmental advantage and the instant delivery. Yet a real book will still work for very much longer than any gadget and there’s nothing quite like turning a page.

I haven’t forgotten my family, honestly, even if it’s not what it looks like; we’re quite long overdue for a visit but will get around to it eventually, one of these days…


Monthly Look Ahead event hosted by Coolbeans4, visit their post for March here



February 2017’s Monthly Look Ahead

It seems like only a few days ago I was making January’s MLA post but I managed to achieve some of things in that post (in spite of my lately stresshead phase).

I write this post to join in with the event created by Coolbeans. I enjoy visiting there, even though I don’t share a similar zeal for watching movies or TV, it’s an uplifting blog to read. I liked the idea of using this event for my blogging strategy mostly, to make a monthly plan and set myself some goals. I can’t really plan for any other kind of activity much at all. Keeping up with anything consistently is quite difficult, but the laptop helps keep me awake, so, here we are again, only a day late this time. Hooray!


I’m using Coolbeans’ original event emblem pic this month (and hoping they don’t mind!) – this is for the purple reminding of remembrance.

February is a significant month for me relating to the loss of both my parents.My Dad died over 20years ago and my Mum’s death was just last year.


26 days of February to go… nowhere as fast as ever, on the slow

o does a todo list work in any blog theme or just P2? apparently it doesn’t work here!

  1. Blogging101 / writing101 refresh, SloPo and whatever other learning practises I can manage, trying to regain some increase to cognitive activity levels, while physically exhausted and too soon in pain to manage anything much when up on my feet. I must try not to wear myself out so much whenever, whatever.
  2. Still temp volunteering a little at Blogger’s World (front-end only posting-level access only, no admin responsibilities there); an authorstory to write for 9th, having had a break from posting for it and very grateful to others for taking up the call for posts. I messed up my attempt at helping for a creative writing post, but I’m not practised enough in formal writing, for one thing. Sincere apologies to Pam and others for failing that commitment! Shakespeare401 to work toward for May.
  3. Still needing to visit blogging neighbours more, but reading fatigue not helped by stress of impossible wifi access issues on and off for whatever reasons. I waste too much time unable to escape the stress impacts of the silliest little things! I can’t just ‘go do something less boring instead’ to recall that jingle line of an old fave UK kid’s program, called “Why Don’t You…?”
  4. With contagious cycles of current new onset illness (contracted while out shopping on August 27th 2016) and this negatively impacting my M.E. and other health issues, it’s unlikely I’ll be getting anywhere out and about much at all this month.But I can do very small excercise along the garden path or in the street sometimes (contagion is only a mucoid / close contact risk, potentially, apparently). Funny how the general population have no regard for preventing spread of their own contagions, generally, while some of us have to confine ourselves as if lepers! Maybe because people believe so much absurd NHS misinformation and can’t be bothered to uncover the facts that lay beyond two clicks deep. Socially transmitted diseases mislabelled as STD is also very annoying, so is denying healthcare to M.E. patients so as ‘not to pander to the idea of being physically ill’!
  5. Anyway, I’ve steamed ahead with getting it together better at SwishingUp. It’s been on the P2 theme for ages, but in blog style rather than using it in message-board format. Unfortunately, trying to return the ‘Edit’ label to the posts and pages by ticking an option for ‘front-end editing’ has ruined it and there’s no way to return to my previous chosen style using that theme. I managed some extra customisation there and have more admin practise ‘work’ to do there yet. I might have to look for a new theme similar to how I had it there before or just remove and reapply the theme. Doh! Still don’t know how margins got removed and other stuff messed up there…
  6. I’m still blogging all over the place now and then! Sorry if it’s confusing to have different ‘rooms’ – is it easier to think of them as just a row of scatty notebooks on a wordpress shelf? I know I’m not the only one practising content in different themes. I’ve got to get back to speed at Snailzpace Daily too while Stu’s away so much! Next to music, blogging’s good ‘medicine’, it seems.
  7. I’m still trying to gear up to doing something creative every day, like managing a small daily sketch – but the day often runs itself out without even cooking a proper meal or doing basic things. No good forcing myself off my blog(s), it doesn’t help to fail to achieve anything! I’ve even failed keeping my handscrawled ‘daybook’ again after a fairly good start for a few small days last month. I did this, I did that, gets a bit depressing! I would like to keep a journal but never have yet and if I can’t keep up with entering my daily detail in a simple diary, then, well… I just need to keep myself going somehow better.
  8. Hopefully this month I’ll continue what I intended to post for the DP ‘transcript’ prompt, although that could keep going a while too, here and there; then there’s ‘The memory of things’ that really caught my fancy as an inspiring topic.
  9. Nutritional improvements are quite a necessity as is,
  10. spring cleaning and domestic reorganisation(!) one square yard or cubic foot at a time!




2017 and the Monthly Look Ahead!


click to visit Coolbeans MonthlyLookAhead post

I’m late again! “Better late than never!” tends to be my recurring mantra, for quite some time now… I could add to my usual excuse of ongoing ill health to those frustrating tech difficulties that I’ve wasted so much time on lately! I could have set up my new toy, but want to be awake and concentrating well when I do! I set this thing up in a fuzzy haze and it hasn’t helped – but then Windows10 is less clear than 98/XP were for administrative and security settings and seems to want to auto-control things. Probably just me not really sussing it better yet.

Getting back to more blogging interaction!

My blogs are in quite a shoddy mess, and need some #blogging101 refreshing! Underway, whenever…

I managed a little blog reading and interaction recently from my now aging mobile phone – but isn’t technology made so quickly obsolete these days! I’m very much regretting not Continue reading “2017 and the Monthly Look Ahead!”

Monthly Look Ahead – February 2016


My memory has been dreadful lately, days slip by, I lose track and I am scatty and unreliable. I made a commitment to a late posting halfway through last month and I know I had an outline draft somewhere but then forgot about posting it…Apologies to event host, IamDonovan.

But here I am, on the cusp of February, wondering wherever did January go and how did it go so fast?!

Some things I’m looking forward to, hopefully, this next month:

  • my first grandchild’s 8th birthday – though I might not be able to visit… we’ll see
  • if I can drag myself into a taxi and onto buses or trains, maybe a visit or two to other family members. No-one’s in a position to be able to travel to visit me and I’ve not seen my mum, siblings, or even one of my kids for ages – months on end. We managed Christmas by post and phone, so it’d be nice to visit. Fingers crossed I’ll be well enough.
  • I’d like to get out to a local art gallery or for a wander in the city, but I doubt i’ll manage that as well as a family visit, but it’s on my hopefully list anyway – I might have to make do with a virtual version of this one.
  • I’ve found Kindle for PC quite a comfortable way of reading -the screen brightness will reduce in the app much further than my laptop will, making much less eye pain and headache and the hope of actually reading something properly more a reality. I’ve a couple of books I definitely want to buy for kindle – and then I’m trying the ‘kindle unlimited’ library borrowing scheme. I know I could not buy the books on my wishlist, and borrow them instead, but I choose to support the author and see it a bit like buying her a coffee. You can find lots of free books for kindle, whether generally available free or during the discounted promotions, but I’m getting fed up with finding poor quality reading material and have seen lots of non-free books I’d like to take a look at or read.  It remains to be seen whether the subscription for borrowing is worth it, as I might not be able to read enough to make it worthwhile. So, I’m quite late getting on the Kindle bandwagon, but am looking forward to exploring reading better with it – there might be the option to listen to borrowed books too.
  • I’m also hoping, again, that I’ll catch up and keep up with the Sandbox Writing Challenge- everything’s been slipping lately – and generally getting back to a more regular posting routine would be nice.
  • I’m looking for ways I can manage my health better again this month too, especially regarding diet and sleep. For relaxation and off-screen time, I’m going to play at adult colouring books, maybe do some drawing and/or journalling.
  • Finally, getting back to a little Modern Poetry study as there is always more to read and learn.

So, there’s my February goals mapped out, as un-exciting as usual, but fingers crossed for the journey…



Writing365 #28 Writing myself happily ever after three years in time…

WordPress is an amazing virtual place, the centre of blogosphere #1… I have successfully written myself to a healthier, more efficient, sustainable independent future by going nowhere very fast! NB: this is finxional writing (i.e.fiction, not yet reality… just in case the DWP are reading and would like another excuse to make me freeze and starve for the fourth successive winter! Yeah, of course I’m overplaying the fear of being a private tenant – as if my good landlord would leave his good tenant homeless during winter while arrears can be accrued and put on the tab…) This is my response to the e-book DPprompt for 28th September… written from the point of view of in three years from now…

It all began during that first week of  October 2015, deciding that enough was enough and investing my shortfall rent money from my meagre ‘welfare’ deprivation allowance to instead purchasing medicinal nutritional supplements to support my health needs. All I had to do was be ready to give my heavy filing cabinet, sofa, fridge anything else a good shove across the floor to barricade myself in for six well-prepared months to prevent eviction, just in case.)

Within six months I had now been able to achieve the improved baseline of a more normal daily routine, getting up, making myself at least presentable and eating three healthy meals a day. Housework could now take place and everything was falling into place nicely. Planning had been enabled. I had been able to sustain concentration and efforts for online learning efforts and my work-related activity plan was proceeding nicely. My quality of rest had improved and it was so satisfying to see and know that my baseline activity level and stamina were gradually increasing.

Ironically, better capability for adequately communicating the impacts of my medical conditions on my daily living resulted in successfully obtaining welfare entitlements I should have been receiving all along. Finally, I was being enabled to make the transition from living like death barely warmed up in a state of premature pre-geriatric daily demise toward some capability for work. Of course I joined a campaigning organisation and donated some of my bed-bound and house-bound time to supporting the cause to end this punative inhuman regime the government call ‘welfare’.

Three years later and here I am managing to draw and paint and make things for twenty hours some weeks, rather than twenty minutes some rare days if I was lucky. I have sustained a twelve hour working week for a year under permitted work rules and didn’t mind at all losing ‘benefit money’ replaced by wages. I had gradually been building up small ways of achieving self-employed earnings and had regular in-person and online supportive assistance to reach my goals from the best Employment Advisor I could never have imagined.

My doctor has retired and is now at last able to practise privately the healthcare he was trained to provide free from the constraints of NHS business policies. As a long-term patient he offers me reduced fees as compensation for previous levels of poor service he was compelled by contractual obligations to the State to impose on some of his patients. I not only receive supportive advice but objective feedback and helpful strategies for ongoing health improvements – and of course, letters appropriately supporting and representing my needs with full knowledge as my primary therapist.

I am planning to celebrate my first sale of one of my old student paintings from the early 1990s that achieved slightly in excess of my personal valuation of that artefact – enough to buy – and repair – my home! i’m glad i didn’t sell it for a tenner when I might have had the chance!

Crazy thing to do to buy this house, but I love my little falling to pieces shack, my rent was over-priced and my landlord would prefer shot of the place and to lose the possibility of litigation now I am financially enabled. Of course I have too much respect for such a credible family business to insult them with actual legal action although on the other hand I have been learning to toughen up and remember to reflect back ‘it’s nothing personal, just business…’

The book I started writing almost three years to the day is finally near readying for limited edition publication and mass marketing as a virtual product. There’s enough demand to let plenty go free with pay-what-you-like promotions and other forms of patronage and donation.

I am keeping my day job. I love supermarket work. I don’t mind the ‘in-house’ excercise now I’m well enough and enjoy company of other people. It’s not mundane to be filling shelves, tidying stock or providing customer service – being on the shop floor can be quite entertaining. Mixing with colleagues enrichens my life and I have plenty of free time and well-being enough to manage my limited capacity working week and not have too much worry about periods of unpaid sickness and incapability having received essential enabling support.

I decided against increased employed working hours to ensure sustainability of my job and the regular wage. I’m continuing ‘spare time’ self-employment and a regular short weekly volunteering role. I also joined the local writers group and artist’s society. I still have to do a lot of my work in resting conditions from my bed to be comfortable and sustain the effort while resting but feel so much better in general. I’m well enough to shower every day and that’s fabulous! It’d be nice to earn a bit of pin-money from sales of my first book, but reader feedback has to be the best reward ever! 

It wasn’t something I’d ever planned to do previously, to write a book of fiction, but was one of those daft challenges I found myself caught up with and hooked by along the way of blogosphere#1 exploration and adventures.

It’s absolutely the best thing ever to finally cut free from the shackles of welfare dependency and to proceed from here, October 2018, with livelihood, independent means and only my tax return to ensure to complete! I don’t even mind paying for my dental care as I couldn’t get my teeth fixed sufficiently while on free service terms! At least now I’m not obliged to be poisoned and I’ll get what I pay for!

If anyone had suggested to me, back in 2015, that things would have turned out this way, I would have quietly said to myself, ‘it is what I’ve been aiming for all along’, smiled and replied ‘I certainly do hope so!’

If you have read this far down the page, thank you – I feel the need to remind you that all those things described above are fiction, other than those things that refer to my immediate state of being, here and now, late September 2015.